My Study Progress

I’m still working on my condensed outlines. I have a feeling the outlines will be an ongoing process, but at least they look much better, shorter, and more concise than my first attempt at outlining the MBE subjects. Those outlines are too long and I’ve found they are basically useless. What a waste of time.

I’ve also been working on my essay boilerplates but I need to go back over the released CO essays and refine the boilerplates because right now my boilerplates from February are too general, and I want to tailor them to be more situation-specific. I hope to complete those boilerplates by the end of this coming weekend. Then the focus will be on practicing essays like crazy.

I had purchased the 2006 MBE Annotated Preview online exam subscription before the February bar, and I copied the questions and answers to keep after my subscription expired. However, at this point it seems a lot easier to just purchase the subscription again so I can practice MBE questions because it’s too time-consuming to print out the questions, print out the explanations and then try to put everything together to take the practice exam on paper, when it would be instantaneous with the online subscription.

So I’m purchasing the subscription again so I can practice online at work. There goes $26. Not like I’m going to buy anything else anyway, seeing as how we’re in the middle of getting rid of a lot of stuff in anticipation of our impending move, so I’m not allowed to buy anything new. At any rate, I’m going to do all 100 questions this afternoon, as a quasi-simulated MBE. I’m not going to kill myself on 200 questions.

Supervisor is going to be out of the office tomorrow and Friday so I’m hauling my MBE Strategies & Tactics Book into the office and working on MBE questions.

I want to try and finish the bulk of the condensed outlines, as well as the essay boilerplates, before July 1 so all of July will be devoted to practice, practice, practice!

MBE questions are fun!

Or so Sarge seems to think. Last night I was doing a few MBE practice questions out of my MBE Strategies & Tactics book, and Sarge sidled over and started reading the questions along with me, then giving me his opinion on what he thought the correct answer was. He got a lot of the answers right. Tell me again why I went to law school.

One month left

I was working on updating and editing my essay boilerplates when a glance at the calendar caused me to recoil in horror.

Today is June 24. That’s exactly ONE month left until the bar exam. I feel sick.

People can surprise you sometimes

Wow, I’m pleasantly surprised. I had my meeting today with my bosses (sans Supervisor) and it went really well. They were really nice and understanding. We actually had a really great conversation and I’m so glad they are being really cool about me leaving early. They’re even going to compensate me for my unused annual leave. I guess my expectations of my bosses’ reactions were different from the actual reactions. I thought Supervisor might be upset, but not as upset as he actually was. I thought one of my bosses might chew me out, but he was the complete opposite. I didn’t think my other boss would get mad or anything like that, but he was very cool anyway. Thank goodness. This was probably the hardest part for me in having to take the bar again.

SR made it through the appendectomy all right, but it was worse than the doctors had thought and the appendectomy became major surgery instead. Not only did she have a badly ruptured appendix but they also found a mass in her abdomen. I’m not sure if they are doing a biopsy (she didn’t say) but she sounds like she will be fine. Hell, she was coherent enough to talk to me last night. I’ve had major stomach surgery myself, and I was out for two days solid so I was amazed at how well she seems to be bouncing back.

However, I take back what I said yesterday about being jealous of her appendectomy. From what SR has told me it sounds like the major surgery she ending up having was similar to the one I had, and trust me I would rather take the bar 10 more times than go through that recovery period again! That’s right people, there ARE worse things than repeating the bar, believe it or not!

Appendectomy

I just found out that one of my close friends SR has a ruptured appendix and is about to undergo an emergency appendectomy. I just talked to her half an hour ago while she was waiting for her ride to the hospital.

At first I was freaked out because of course I’m very worried about her, but now I can’t help pondering how convenient it would be to have a ruptured appendix myself. I’m not kidding, think about it. I’d have a surefire excuse for not having to go to work anymore, plus think of all that extra time I’d have to study for the bar. I even googled how long the recovery period from an appendectomy is, and apparently it’s a few days to a few weeks depending on the severity of the ruptured appendix. I could totally study a lot more if I was confined to bed like that.

I’m so jealous of SR right now. God, I’m pathetic.

Thanks guys

I want to thank my commenters for their support, as well as my family and friends! It’s so easy to feel like I’m doing the wrong thing and letting down my employer but your comments remind me that I am doing the right thing even if I feel terrible for it. I am a hard worker and I do pride myself on being reliable and producing high quality work, so I tend to be disappointed in myself if I feel that I let down an employer or someone who took a chance on me.

Also, thanks for the advice about the bar and the reasons behind my early departure. Supervisor didn’t ask about the bar and I didn’t volunteer it either. I’m pretty sure my other bosses are waiting until our next meeting to confront me about leaving early. If pressed for reasons, I will take your advice and be vague and not volunteer information. As one commenter put it, it is none of their business. If they ask me about the bar, I will say that I don’t have any definite plans to take it.

Supervisor and I called a truce after some arguing (I felt he was a little unfair in some of the things he said) and agreed to get along and work together to get things done before my departure, but it’s still awkward. I’m also working on the new version of an annual publication, and Supervisor doesn’t seem to believe that I’ll be able to finish it before I leave even though I said I would. So I want to get this project done at the very least and hopefully salvage a reference, but I’m not holding my breath on the reference part.

Update

Supervisor is uber PISSED. I haven’t heard a word from the other bosses (one of whom I’ve been worried about), but they were wrapped up in meetings all day. Supervisor wants to “talk” first thing tomorrow morning.

The time has come

I’m about to hand in my notice. Well, it’s more like I’m e-mailing the letter to my bosses because I’m too chicken to physically hand it to them. Plus I want the date and time stamp on the e-mail to cover my butt just in case. I’m attaching the letter as well as copying the text into the body of the e-mail.

I just finished cleaning out my computer, e-mail account, and desk so I’m now prepared to go out in a blaze of glory if things go horribly, horribly wrong. I don’t really want to have to quit on the spot but if the reaction is way over the line, I will. I’d also rather spare myself the excruciating awkwardness of having to clean out my desk in front of everyone.

After I send this e-mail, I’m going out for lunch right away so I can brace myself. Wish me luck…

I’m quitting on July 6!

After much discussion last night, Sarge and I agreed that I would quit work on July 6. I received a lot of great advice from my commenters, and there were also excellent points made, particularly the one about how I can’t afford to fail the bar again since it would be more expensive in the long run than losing a week’s pay. That is SO true. I took a week off last time and I failed, so I should take 2 weeks off this time. It could make the difference.

I wrote a short draft of my notice letter and kept it vague as one commenter suggested.  I’ll probably turn in the notice around noon or so on Monday and then leave to take a lunch hour so I can steel myself for the fallout.

I probably sound overly nervous and anxious about quitting, but I’m in a one-year position that ordinarily runs from early August through late July or even early August. I mentioned before that they are letting my replacement start in mid to late August instead of the normal starting date of early August, so by leaving on July 6 or 13 I would be leaving over a month’s gap between my departure and my replacement’s arrival. That gap is going to create a lot of work for other employees, particularly my supervisor who will have to take over my work, so I don’t expect that they’ll be too pleased about my early departure. However I have to do this for me. I have to do this for the bar exam and for my future. I can’t keep compromising my future just to please other people and to avoid pissing them off.

Notice letter

I need to draft my notice letter. I really don’t want to tell them that I’m taking the bar again, so I need to figure out another excuse. Here’s the list I have so far:

1) I have an inoperable brain tumor.
2) I’m pregnant. (But I’m not about to tempt fate by using that one since I really don’t want a baby for a looooong time!)
3) I’ve contracted tuberculosis from that TB guy Andrew Speaker and must go into federal quarantine.
4) I cite the catchphrase “circumstances beyond my control” and refuse to elaborate if questioned.
5) …

Obviously I didn’t get very far on that list. I suppose I’ll keep the letter short and sweet, and hope they don’t question me about the bar. They still haven’t asked me if I’m going to retake it. I don’t know what I’ll do or say if they ask me if I’m leaving early to take the bar.