Twice Failed

Yesterday I found out that I failed the Colorado Bar Exam not once, but TWICE. I left work and went home, got drunk, ripped up most of my bar prep materials, and proceeded on to a crying jag with occasional vows to never take the bar exam EVER again. I’m so angry that I didn’t pass the bar exam, AGAIN. I was only 6 points away the first time, and I thought I had done so much better on the February 2007 bar exam. I knew 8 of the 9 essay topics on the bar exam this time around, as compared to the 5 or 6 on last July’s bar exam. All I needed was SIX lousy points, right?? I still don’t get why I didn’t pass. I bombed the July 2006 MBE so I buckled down and did tons of practice MBE questions with MicroMash’s software and various bar prep books (BarBri, PMBR, et cetera). It’s so incredibly frustrating to not pass yet again.

I haven’t received my scores in the mail yet. I found out I didn’t pass when Colorado graciously posted the names of passing exam takers online. I’ve noticed that many states post exam numbers instead of names, but no not Colorado.

I feel really devastated and deflated. I really don’t want to take the bar exam ever again. I have 2 hopes for when my scores arrive in the mail:

1) That the overall score will be within the 3 or fewer points of passing range for me to be able to appeal the score, and;

2) That my MBE score is at least 133 so I can transfer my MBE score to the District of Columbia bar and I’d only have to take the essay portion of the DC bar exam in July. I had a 129 on the July 2006 MBE so HOPEFULLY I raised it by at least 4 points.

Oh yeah, one more thing… since Colorado released the bar results so late (May 3) when many other states released them back in April, I missed the deadline to apply for most states’ bar exams in July. So much for taking an easy state bar exam like Utah or Montana… thanks Colorado!!!! Not only did I not pass the bar exam twice, but I’m screwed for the July 2007 bar exam too and may not even be able to take it. I’m really not willing to subject myself to the sadism that is the Colorado Bar Exam ever again.

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13 thoughts on “Twice Failed

  1. If this makes you feel any better. Third time will be the charm. You already know enough Colorado law to pass.

  2. Thanks, Alexis, for the kind words! I hope it’s true about the third time being the charm!

  3. I just failed the Texas bar exam. Texas posts the list of names of those who passed & their exam number. My heart broke when my name wasn’t on it-but I’m going to torture myself again by trying again in July.

    This is not a totally foreign feeling for me, as I managed to fail my first semester of law school (mainly b/c of health reasons), which was humiliating, but I decided to return b/c I felt I could do it & also that I didn’t have much of a choice. I was shocked at the number of my classmates (from my “original” class) who told me they knew they could not have done what I did & that I had a lot of courage to come back after failing. Several said they really admired me for doing it. I felt I had to try again, I mean, what else was I going to do? I just did what I felt I had to do and really was surprised at other’s reactions to it.

    During my 2nd “1st” semester, an amazing, well-respected, beloved professor took me under his wing, to help me succeed on this time around-he became my mentor & friend. Sometime during my 3rd year while we were discussing whether my failed semester would show up on my transcript (it would), he confided to me that he saw the fact that I failed & chose to return as a very positive thing (ex. to potential employers). It shows that I don’t give up in the face of adversity (or failure), that I will perservere until I succeed, that most people would not dream of trying again & would just give up in the same situation & my coming back truly shows the strength of my character. He passed on before he could see me truly succeed in graduating, so I don’t have him to turn to for guidance now-I just have to keep thinking back on his words to give me strength in trying again in July. Although for me, I still feel as though I’m going to do it b/c I feel I’m so invested in that law license that I really have no choice but to try again, it’s nice to think there could be a deeper, more positive meaning behind it.

    I’m sorry that this comment has been so long-I suddenly felt the need to share that story, hoping that it just may help you feel better if only in some tiny way. And I just wanted to tell you that I relate. I wish you all the luck in the world in July & hope the 3rd time really is a charm for you.

    • Dana,
      I just failed the Texas bar exam by 15 points. At least the people who fail are the ones everyone remembers – you know everyone loves to hear a “bad news” story…(haha). I plan on taking it again in February for the same reasons you mentioned above. It has been a while since I failed an exam, but sh** happens. I was lucky enough to grow up playing four sports; and I realized at a very young age that hard work does not necessarily equal success. But people like you are the ones that become great leaders. Keep it up!
      -Ben

  4. Dana, it’s so ironic that you posted (and thank you for writing!) because I actually failed my first year of law school too. I thought I was the only one who had failed and then obtained readmission. I’ll write a blog post on this shortly since like yours, mine is also a long story. I’m sorry to hear that your mentor passed on. I too had a mentor (although she felt like my enemy at times), and I know how important it was to be able to cling to the hope that one person provided for us.

    I also know all too well the feeling of having your heart shattered into a million pieces upon finding out you didn’t pass the bar. Even if it isn’t a foreign feeling for us, it still sucks just the same, right?

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