I’m lucky

I’m lucky to have several close friends who are there for me through the good and bad. A gift arrived for me this weekend from two friends who apparently wanted to send me a gift to try and cheer me up for failing the bar exam twice. Another close friend also sent me a gift. I had sent her my PMBR CDs so she could start studying for the February 2008 bar exam. I didn’t want her to pay me for them because she is one of my oldest and closest friends, and she has done so much for me over the course of many years that I wasn’t about to take money from her. I can’t use the PMBR CDs anyway since I can’t listen to audiotaped lectures, so they were worthless to me. She sent me a extravagant gift and her card said she knew I’d be mad at her for spending the money but she wanted to do it anyway. I wish she would have used that money for herself since I know she needs it. I have such sweet and considerate friends! Of course I can’t leave out yet another close friend, who has been extremely generous with her time and CO bar prep materials and the dispensing of advice.

I have a sister who is 18 months younger and I am extremely close to her. On the day I found out I’d failed the bar exam twice, my sister rushed to talk to me for hours to try and console me. She too is extremely generous and encouraging, and the same goes for my parents. They were so supportive of my law school pursuit that they kept sending me checks all through law school even though I told them to cut it out and use the money for themselves. I didn’t feel right accepting my parents’ checks especially after having supported myself for several years prior to law school, so I ended up ripping up their checks.

I never told my parents and sister until after my graduation how difficult law school really was for me, and about the fact that I had flunked out after my 1L year. I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me. My father is a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and was a decorated career Air Force pilot, so as you can imagine he is a very motivated man who has always gone after his dreams, and I wanted to follow in his footsteps from the time I was very little. As a matter of fact, I grew up wanting to go to the Academy and become an Air Force pilot just like Dad. I eventually applied to the Academy, passed the physical fitness exam, obtained a nomination, and so forth, but I didn’t get in because of medical reasons. That was a huge lesson to me because I learned that I needed to create my own dreams instead of following Dad’s dreams. And so that’s how I ended up in law school.

Dad once told me that he had spent most of his time at the Academy scared out of his wits that he was going to flunk out, so I really related to that while in law school. He was a very poor kid growing up in a very impoverished area in the 1950s-1960s, so there were insurmountable odds against him from the very beginning, and he has defied them all the way. I feel the same way about myself.

I’m extremely lucky to have all of you, and your support and encouragement, in my life. It helps to put things in perspective, particularly the bar exam, when I stop to think about how fortunate I am for everything I have.

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4 thoughts on “I’m lucky

  1. It’s so great you have so many supportive friends & family-I don’t think there’s any way to get through this whole process w/o them. (Whether you’re starting law school or taking the bar-and especially if you’re re-taking the bar) You are incredibly lucky, I’m so glad you’ve got that many people in your corner (& they’re sending gifts! No fair! ;))

    I don’t know if you had the same experience I had w/ this but, I feel like I discovered who my true friends are after I failed the bar this February. Only TWO people from law school have contacted me, not a single person that I thought was a friend of mine has even so much as sent an “I’m sorry you failed” email. I realize it’s probably pretty awkward to talk to someone who has failed the bar, especially when they themselves passed, but I’m surprised at the lack of any kind of response.

    Honestly, I’m not upset about it b/c, like you, I have a very close family and have their unwaivering support, as well as that of my fiance and close friends-that’s all I need.

    Hope your studying is going well!

  2. You know it’s funny, everyone’s different about the process. I don’t want to hear from a single person about their sympathy! My friends know not to bring it up…it probably helps that only a couple are in law and none of my closest friends and family members are. I admit it. My pride is too shaken to accept sympathy at this point!

    But it’s great to have support in the way of emails, calls, and understanding my inability to go to birthdays and social events. They don’t take it personally, and don’t give me guilt trips. It’s such a gift!

    I’m glad you have such a good support system too. God knows we need all the help and good vibes we can get!

  3. Dana, I know exactly what you mean! I didn’t hear a peep from some people after the bar exam! My law school classmate who had taken the July 2006 Colorado bar with me (the only other person from my law school) never even contacted me after results came out (he passed). This legal association I used to be involved with, never contacted me even though I know for a fact they looked up the July bar results. Granted, I had stopped being involved with them since last September because I didn’t like how they treated one of my close friends (also a former member) and I also didn’t agree with a lot of their actions. But I do agree that you definitely find out who your real friends are after failing the bar.

    CA sent me several e-mails and SR also contacted me, but FG and MC waited for me to reach out to them. All 4 of them also went to law school. I think true friends do react differently. Some might think you might not want to talk to them, and others might want to make sure you’re all right. The one thing I did NOT want to hear from anyone was “I’m sorry.”

    No one in my family has gone to law school, thank goodness. I can’t imagine the pressure that people who have families full of attorneys must feel, especially after failing the bar!

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